this pain I have.

so it's another 3 am tonight,
equally clueless,
equally helpless.

while a part of our lives are in limbo,
the other part has to carry on.
when Monday dawn,
school will resume
and the parents must head back to work.

daddy can't stay over at the hospital anymore.

we have to account to our work and commitments.
yet at this moment,
I wish everything in my life will just come to a halt,
so that I can just focus on her.

but then again,
I'm equally helpless.

so helpless, I don know what can I do,
that weight hanging will never drop,
it's like you're counting down tgt w her.
everyday a new hope,
every phone call , a dread.

I tell b,
what can I tell her every day?
that grandma? you can come home soon.
with each passing day,
will she still believe in me?

they say:
it's better to let go with a smile than to hold on with tears.

i say:
god has her plans,
I'll leave it to her
but this pain I feel can never be alleviated.

so much angst,
I feel like venting it all out,
just for you to feel my pain,
for that smile that you do not deserve.