Randomly browsing the photos and I saw the picture of collyer quay that I took at the National Museum yesterday afternoon.
This photo just struck a chord with me. I don't know how to tell you this except that it just hit me very hard it is like a re-connection between 2 wires that somehow had separated from each other as the brain get bombarded with new information every day.
That jetty is where Fullerton Bay is now, Collyer Quay ( Red Light Harbour)
It just all come rushing back to me,
The vivid scene of granddad bringing me to this harbor this EXACT view.
it really do feel like yesterday.
I'm around 3 -4 years of age,
The sun was directly above my head that morning, me and my little red cap
I remember granddad holding my hands and telling me that he is going to bring me to meet his friend, a fisherman.
I remember he telling me that that was where he embarked onto singapore,
I remembered me sitting on a hot stone bench having ice cream,
I remembered heading home with a headache, that I hated the smell of the pizza that granduncle john bought, ( resulting in me refusing pizza until i was in secondary school)
and I remembered that photo of granddad and me on his cupboard,
I wonder who is keeping the photo of him carrying me with the jetty as the backdrop now?
We were both not smiling ( His brows furrowed from the heat, me staring into space)
I don't think anyone can really understand how important it is to me to know that the memory that I have of him is REAL.
this picture just confirmed that what I hold true for so many years is REAL.
With developement, the open sea has disappear, I cannot even rmb how the old collyer quay and custom house looked like,
that's why it appears almost a fluke to me
Like maybe I dream of it all-until this picture.
I just miss granddad and both my grandmothers.
Perhaps it's with all the weddings and the hormones working
but I can't help but know that in their heart of heart, they wish to see me get wedded off.
How grandma lam ask me when am I getting married and I still joke with her where got so fast! and I told her to wait for me.
Funny how they'll never get the chance to do that anymore and how pain is always hidden somewhere deep, always there.
How am I suppose to honor them?
Will they know? Are they looking over at me from wherever they are and know that I've found happiness?
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| <3 |
People move forward in life.
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| Thank you for always making me smile. I love you b. You're my perfect manicurist ! :) |
